I’ve begun my second quarter at FIDM (started last Thursday), and this weekend I am working on one of the most difficult assignments I’ve ever had. On the surface it is quite simple, and for some it might be one of the easiest assignments they’ve ever had. But for me, given the task of taking street-style photos of 10 16-24 year-olds who are fashion forward has given me a ridiculous amount of anxiety. Today I walked down Melrose ave where there are a ton of great vintage shops and boutiques. My homework walked past me in droves. It would have been like shooting fish in a barrel – had I the bullets (guts) to do it. But I didn’t. I failed miserably and then, of course, immediately mental beat myself up for not doing it. Here I am, a 32-year-old grown ass woman with a family and home – and I let myself get intimidated by young women a decade younger than me. Good job, Julisa.
My whole Melrose experience made me want to run screaming for the hills (the hills of Astoria, Oregon to be exact – more on that later). I have never been one to feel fashion forward – nor desired to be. I prefer classic styles, and I adore vintage classy chic styles. But with the fashion trending towards ripped jeans, crop tops, 90’s floral prints… a lot of 90’s fashion in fact, I feel like a complete outsider. Let’s be honest, that walk made me feel boring, drab, and old. The pressure to look “cool” gave me flashbacks to middle and high-school (and so did the high-waisted jeans).
I have always been drawn to the past. Even when I was a kid, I grew up watching old black and white movies, reading a ton of historical fiction, and scavenging through antique shops. I longed for a “simple” kind of life – to some extent. Obviously I didn’t want to go to extremes – I live in LA for goodness sakes! But even now I enjoy the fact that we don’t have cable television. We have only one t.v and for most of the day it’s covered by a large painting. I’ve deactivated my Facebook account so I could focus more on the life in front of me (and of course the political environment is terribly depressing). Eric and I have worked on decluttering our home and going through everything making sure what we have we use regularly and makes us happy. We don’t have a ton of toys for Cordie (we also don’t have much space).
Eric, Cordie, and I recently traveled up to Longview, Washington to visit my parents and while up there we took a day trip to Astoria, Oregon. I’ve always enjoyed that town, but this time around Eric and I were taken by the Victorian houses. It was a rare sunny day in the Pacific Northwest, and the town seemed extra magical. “Move here” it seemed to shout. The calling still lingers… First I need to finish school.
I have a few more days to finish this project. I just wanted to write and share my entertaining anxiety with talking to 16-24-year-old young folks who are fashion forward. Why couldn’t they have asked me to look for “advanced style” people?! I would have had a heyday with that!!!
Ok, I can do this!