Chipping Away

As my second quarter is on its final legs and we begin our final projects, I find I’m able to just barely keep everything afloat. I start out the quarter so full of hope and energy, thinking that this time I will go above and beyond on my homework assignments – so I can really make the most of my short time back at school. But as the (very few) weeks pass, I find I have to turn in work that is not nearly as wonderful as I first set out to do. Time alludes me. I feel I’m constantly just getting by on my school assignments, work around the house and spending time with my daughter and husband. I just chip away at the long list of “to-do”s.

But as I chip away I unearth a deeper passion for what I’m studying. Today I had a pre-production meeting regarding a play I’ll be designing the set for. I get so excited thinking about the possibilities of what we can do and how we can further tell the story by what we show visually. I love reading a play and having images pop into my head.

A few weeks ago I helped shop for props for a¬†short film my husband is producing. As I was browsing the aisles of Goodwill seeing what jumped out at me as the perfect little additions for a shabby 1991 kitchen, I realized this was something I’ve been doing my whole life. I like to wander the aisles at stores and look at things and see what speaks to me and where each item might look good or what kind of person would buy it.

It’s a really great feeling finding something else I’m passionate about and also feeling like I have a gift for it. The moment I read a script or a play my imagination flies. And now, thanks to school, I’m learning the tools to get the images out from my head and in front of other people.

This is freaking great. It’s not easy, and some days I really feel like tossing in the towel… then I remember how stir crazy I was waiting for my agent to call and going nuts feeling like I wasn’t helping provide for the family in some way. I know I was working a ton and it’s no easy task taking care of a kid and a home, but I felt so creatively dead. And maybe that’s what happened, maybe a part of me died – was creatively starved to death, which allowed a new artist to rise. I would never have pursued this field if the acting gigs had happened just a little more often. I find myself oddly grateful for the way things turned out. Of

I find myself grateful for the way things turned out. Of course I didn’t know it a year ago when I was really struggling and wondering what to do with myself, but here I am feeling full of hope and (still) wondering what will the future hold.

 

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In Between Two Marvelous Worlds

The theatre company I’m helping start up had auditions for the musical “13” the other day. The show is made up of 13 teenagers and even the band can be just teenagers as well. I’m so excited that our first big musical production for our first official season focuses completely on “kids”. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I look forward to teaching.

I’ve found quite a joy in teaching my laughter yoga classes these last couple of months. It feels so good to pass on information that you’ve discovered and has helped you. So now I get this opportunity to mentor and teach middle and high school students about theatre. With this in mind, it has altered the way I read and watch lessons on acting. Now I wonder how I might relay this to students I’m working with. I’m excited to watch these young artists grow and discover new things about themselves and the art. To witness the breakthroughs and be there for them when things get tough or confusing.

Maybe I’m so passionate about this because this was the exact time I fell in love with acting and decided that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. It was on stage of the high school theatre. I was 14 and for the first time I felt at home with myself.

For 15 years I’ve been a student of acting and suddenly I have this lightbulb moment! I’m crossing into new territory, teacher territory! I think a venn diagram expresses how I feel more appropriately. 2 circles overlap each other. Student circle and Teacher circle, and in the middle is me, the Actor. I will always be a student of acting, I am a professional actor continually progressing in my career, and now, a teacher as well. I like being in this middle ground.

As an actor/artist I spend so much time thinking about myself that I find this amazingly refreshing to focus on helping other people.

I can’t wait for all the neat things I’ll learn from teaching others. Man, I love learning more about this craft.

To new territory!

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